


A Hand to Hold

by iamthegps



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I stan the destigmatization of sexual violence against men, Misconceptions about rape, My girl Wanda is preaching the truth, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Non-Consensual Oral Sex, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Non-consensual masturbation, Rape/Non-Con: Female on Male, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Sexualized Violence, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Wanda Maximoff is a Good Bro, Whump, non-consensual nudity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-09
Updated: 2019-08-09
Packaged: 2020-08-13 22:53:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20182045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamthegps/pseuds/iamthegps
Summary: "Start with me." Wanda made a noise of protest that Steve ignored. He met the woman's eyes, seeing the nasty spark that lit up in them. This had a chance of working, at least. He breathed deep and went all in. "Surely I'm of more interest to you than she is." The smile he got this time was genuine, and sent a chill down his spine. She nodded to the guards, who dragged Wanda to the side of the room, and prowled toward Steve."You'll do as I say?" He nodded, feeling his nerves race. She hummed curiously. "Anything you refuse, I'll have the guards do to your pet. Understand?" He nodded again and she took a handful of his hair, yanking his head back and forcing him to look at her. "I believe you should be addressing me with the proper amount of respect, dear. Now I'll try again: do you understand?" The guards around Wanda shifted eagerly and Steve forced himself to swallow his pride."Yes ma'am."Fill for a Hydra Trash Meme prompt: https://hydratrashmeme.dreamwidth.org/2807.html?thread=6133495#cmt6133495





	A Hand to Hold

**Author's Note:**

> Hydra Trash Meme is usually a little too eww for me but this one struck my writing bug something fierce and I ended up pounding it out in less than a day. Not sure what that says about me (except maybe that I need to start going to church more). I did enjoy the chance to stretch my writing muscles even if it made me feel like a complete creep. 
> 
> I know if you've gotten past the tags you're aware of this but to emphasize, _this is explicit non-con and rape_. If you're not comfortable with that I will never know, nor will I mind, if you don't read it.

Wanda clung to him as they waited in the dark. Steve held her against his chest and berated himself for walking into such an obvious trap. He should have known better, called in for backup and retreated as soon as he got that feeling in his gut, the one he always got during the war right before the trap was sprung. Now they had a cool five hours before anyone would come to rescue them and he knew better than most how much could happen in that time.

The lights switched on all at once, blinding them with a wince. Steve tightened his arm around Wanda as the door slammed open and neat rows of HYDRA goons armed with semi-automatic rifles filed inside. They were followed by a tall, slender woman dressed like she had just stepped from the pages of Vogue- her makeup was spotless, her hair perfect, and her black silk dress left nothing and everything to the imagination all at once. She gazed down at her captives with heavy-lidded eyes, a charade of a smile curling up the corners of her mouth. "How sweet," she commented mildly. "Like a boy trying to protect his dog."

"What do you want?" Steve asked coldly, pushing down the flare of anger in his gut.

"One of you. Talking."

"We're talking right now."

"Tell me how you found us." When Steve and Wanda remained silent her gaze narrowed, green eyes sharpening. "I could have you tortured. Or her. One of you would talk eventually. But that would be so messy, and so much less fun."

"Than what?" Wanda asked, her voice shaky. The woman smiled. 

It was all teeth.

Two of the guards rushed forward and yanked Wanda away from Steve. They were both forced to their knees in front of the woman, who grinned as she reached out and stroked Wanda's face gently. "Think about it, darling," she replied, all faux sweetness. "Every one of these men will do _anything_ I tell them to. I could make things quite pleasurable for you, if you answer my questions. Or quite uncomfortable if you don't." The implication was clear. Wanda paled but stayed silent, fists balling at her sides. The woman sighed. "Well then. You've chosen it." She motioned to the guards.

"Wait!" She paused mid-move, lifting a graceful eyebrow. 

"Yes Captain?" Steve glared at her.

"Start with me." Wanda made a noise of protest that Steve ignored. He met the woman's eyes, seeing the nasty spark that lit up in them. This had a chance of working, at least. He breathed deep and went all in. "Surely I'm of more interest to you than she is." The smile he got this time was genuine, and sent a chill down his spine. She nodded to the guards, who dragged Wanda to the side of the room, and prowled toward Steve.

"You'll do as I say?" He nodded, feeling his nerves race. She hummed curiously. "Anything you refuse, I'll have the guards do to your pet. Understand?" He nodded again and she took a handful of his hair, yanking his head back and forcing him to look at her. "I believe you should be addressing me with the proper amount of respect, dear. Now I'll try again: do you understand?" The guards around Wanda shifted eagerly and Steve forced himself to swallow his pride.

"Yes ma'am." He could see the desire come to life in her eyes. She tucked a strand of hair behind his ear and rubbed her thumb down his jawline.

"Good boy. Now stand up and strip." Slowly, feeling like his heart was about to beat out of his chest, he got up and undressed down to his boxers. He felt himself flush as stares burned into him from all sides. The woman actually laughed.

"Are you nervous about the audience, dear? It's not as though you have anything to be ashamed of." She ran her eyes over his body appreciatively and he forced himself to remain stoic, not to flinch as her gaze settled on his groin. "Do finish the job. We haven't got all day." Feeling the embarrassment burn his ears, he reached down and slipped his boxers off, kicking them away to stand bare before her and everyone else in the room. The woman made a lewd noise as she circled him slowly. "Yes, I am _so glad_ you volunteered. This will be much more fun than watching." Her fingers drifted almost absently across the top of his penis and he couldn't control the way his stomach contracted. "On your knees."

Acutely aware of Wanda's muffled crying as one of the guards held her head and forced her to look, he sank down. He was rewarded with a sharp backhand slap to the face. "When I give you an order you will obey me verbally. When I say 'on your knees' you say..." Steve gritted his teeth and forced it out.

"Yes ma'am."

"A quick learner. I like that in a man. Stick out your tongue." Steve deliberately looked away from Wanda.

"Yes ma'am." He did so and she ran a finger down it slowly before, without any warning, she shoved two of them down his throat. He gagged and she grabbed another handful of his hair to keep him from pulling away. She moved them in and out, reaching just far enough to trigger his gag reflex before pulling back. Starting slow and then getting faster, she kept going until he thought he might choke. She rammed them back one last time and held them there, ignoring the way he gasped for air as his throat spasmed.

"Such a pretty tongue," she mused, "in such a pretty mouth, on such a pretty face. I think I want to find out how it will feel on me." She retracted her fingers, wiping his saliva off on his chest as he heaved in a breath. Without any concern for the eyes on them all around the room, she unzipped her dress and let it fall to the floor in a pool of fabric. Clad only in her lingerie, she snapped her fingers. "Bring me a chair." 

One of the goons pulled one over, a rickety looking wooden thing with a bent leg that she sat in like it was a throne. "Touch yourself." He knew the consequences, but he still hesitated, eyeing the guards. She gave him five seconds. "_Touch yourself_, dear, or we'll see if your pet can give us a better show." Wanda snarled from the corner, spouting insults in rapid Sokovian. "Gag her," the woman ordered casually. She went back to watching Steve, awaiting his response. He felt his stomach lurch.

"Yes ma'am." Doing all he could do ignore the eyes on him, he took himself in hand. He was ashamed of how easy it was for him to get aroused. He began moving his hand rapidly, trying to get it over with as quickly as possible. Midway through, the woman uncrossed her legs and slid a hand into her underwear, moaning softly. The sheer fabric showed him everything as she continued to pleasure herself, sinking further into the chair and bucking against her fingers as she finished quickly. Steve closed his eyes as he reached his own climax, trying to blot out the burning humiliation as he throbbed against his hand. 

She shifted to the edge of the chair and slipped her underwear off, spreading her legs wide in front of him. "Why don't you go ahead and put that beautiful mouth of yours to use, dear?" Some of the goons snickered as Steve paled. He wished he was anywhere else but here. _Better you than Wanda,_ he reminded himself. _You're the leader. You walked into the trap._ Choking on the words, he managed to get out,

"Yes ma'am." He leaned forward and gathered his courage. He had only ever been acquainted with this in theory, but something told him that she wouldn't care about talent. Slowly, tentatively, he ran his tongue up her labia, nearly gagging at the sensation. The smell of sex overwhelmed his nostrils. He continued to lick her in a back and forth pattern until she began writhing. One hand went back to his hair to keep him still as she started thrusting against his face while the other dragged his hand to her clitoris.

"Rub it," she hissed. He complied, wanting this to be over as quickly as possible and feeling her thighs clench around him as she thrust harder. It wasn't much longer before she gasped and moaned against his mouth, her legs pinning him in place against her as she orgasmed. Steve felt hot, sticky liquid covering his face and clamped his mouth shut, doing his best not to breathe. "Oh, such a good boy," the woman said breathlessly. She released her hold on him and he scrambled back. "Don't wipe it off." 

"Yes ma'am." It was a whisper so quiet it was barely audible. The woman used one foot to push him backward until he lay on the floor, staring fixedly at the ceiling. He ignored the way the goons laughed and the telling noise of skin against skin, ignored the way Wanda continued to cry and yell past her gag as the woman slid down from the chair to straddle him, taking his penis into her hand. She stroked him gently, cooing praises about how good he was doing and once again, shame boiling in his gut, he felt himself getting hard. 

The woman slid down onto him and methodically rolled her hips. "Doesn't this feel good, dear? Tell me this feels good, I want to hear you say it." 

"This feels good." The words were robotic, and the worst part was they were kind of true. She dug her nails into his chest. 

"This feels good _what_?" 

"Th- this feels good, ma'am." He stuttered as she changed motions, his stomach tightening with unwanted arousal. She moved herself up and down on him with increasing speed and he fought against the urge to move back, to release the pressure building inside him. After a few more thrusts she tightened around him with a cry and he felt himself come in response, furious at his body for wanting it. 

"Oh," she moaned as she slipped off of him, "I think I'm going to keep you." 

The explosion that rocked the building was as much a surprise to him as it was to her. The goons shifted uncomfortably as the woman looked around, her gaze sharp. "What was that?" In their moment of confusion, Wanda struck. A blast of magic shot out around her and all the nearby guards crumpled to the floor. The rest didn't get a chance to react. Her eyes burning red with the force of her fury Wanda lashed out, blowing the rest of them back against the concrete walls with enough force to render them instantly unconscious. She ripped out the gag, turned to the woman, and lifted her into the air.

"I should crush your skull inside your head," she hissed, tightening her invisible grip. The woman writhed pointlessly, fear contorting her face. 

"Wanda." Steve's voice was ragged and hoarse. "Don't." He could see that she wanted to ignore him but instead she grimaced and hurled the woman against the far wall, where she struck with an audible thud. "I- who was-?" 

"That was our backup," she told him, rushing to his side. "I triggered my emergency alarm when we were getting captured. They didn't even bother to search me." She reached out to touch him but stopped, awkward and unsure. She looked like she didn't know what to do. Another explosion rocked the building and he realized that they had to get out of there fast. He needed to pull himself together. 

He grabbed his clothes and slipped them on, embracing the odd feeling of detachment from his body and ignoring the way his hands shook as he grabbed a rifle. He worked his way through the compound with Wanda, following the sound of shooting toward his teammates. He was doing well until he grimaced and felt the liquid drying on his face crack. He froze, overcome by a flash of fear and disgust, and nearly got his head taken off. Wanda leaped in front of him and used her magic to protect them from the barrage until Natasha and Sam slid around the corner, taking the last of them by surprise and finishing them off. 

Steve allowed her to grab his hand and pull him along, ignoring the questions and concerned looks he got from the others as they ran for the quinjet. Not now. Not now. He could deal with it later. He'd already frozen once and nearly gotten Wanda killed. He needed the compound, the privacy of his own room. He needed to be the leader, no matter how he felt like throwing up and scrubbing his skin off as soon as the jet was airborne. He couldn't let this bother him. 

The jet lifted into the air and shot toward the compound and Steve fell onto one of the rear benches, unable to overcome the daze in his mind. He was the leader. He couldn't let this bother him. And maybe, if he just kept telling himself that, his body would listen.

=-=-=-=-=

Less than an hour. They had been captive for less than an hour and everything had gone so wrong that Wanda felt like her world had been turned over on its side. Guilt churned in her stomach and threatened to burn a hole through her as she deliberately ignored Sam and Natasha's worried stares, focusing on her hands. It was her fault. Steve had deliberately called attention to himself and let that woman rape him, all so that it didn't happen to her. She idolized him- he reminded her of her father, the same stubborn resolve to do the right thing, the same quiet dignity and confidence, the same steadiness in the face of trouble. He was a hero. 

But he was also a human, and that had never really sunk in until she watched him take the punishment that had been intended for her. Every word and every action that woman had dragged out of him was another reminder that he could be hurt like anyone else. _Had_ been hurt, to keep her safe. Wanda wanted to cry and scream and make that woman pay for everything she had done to the man that Wanda so admired. But she couldn't. She had to focus on Steve, who was hunched in the corner trying so hard to look normal that it made her feel sick. 

She had to get that woman off his face. It wouldn't erase anything that had happened but she needed to get rid of the sickening sheen that caught the light at all the wrong angles. She snatched up a rag and ran it under warm water, wringing it out and moving with halting steps over to his side. She perched next to him, holding the rag and trying to figure out how to proceed. He didn't look like he was capable of cleaning himself but she wasn't going to touch him without his permission. "Steve." She was so quiet she could barely hear herself but speaking any louder felt wrong. He glanced over and she offered him the rag wordlessly. His hand shook as he took it and scrubbed down his face until his skin went red. He threw it to other side of the jet when he was satisfied.

"Thanks. And I- I'm sorry." Wanda felt like sobbing.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." She couldn't quite say it without her voice shaking. "You stopped them from hurting me." 

"I walked us into a trap. And then I nearly got you shot." 

"Neither of those things were your fault," she retorted. "You have nothing to apologize to me for." The only response she got was a low, noncommittal hum. Overwhelmed with fatigue, she leaned gently against his shoulder and sighed. The rest of the ride back to the compound was spent in silence. 

Rhodey was in Washington and Vision was with Tony, meaning that there was no one waiting for them as the ramp descended. Wanda was glad. It was hard enough to avoid Sam and Natasha's obvious worry and concern without adding more people onto it. Steve had reverted to his most expressionless stoic face as soon as they landed but Wanda- and, she was sure, the others too- could still see his hands tremble where they were clenched together behind his back. "We'll debrief tomorrow," was all he said before he turned and vanished into the compound faster than they could stop him. Wanda fumbled with the straps of her go bag and jumped away with a yelp as Sam caught her arm. He held up his hands and took a step back.

"I'm sorry, Wanda. I didn't mean to startle you." He and Natasha shared a loaded glance with each other. "Do you wanna take a walk with me, maybe talk a bit?" They wanted to know what had happened. A fountain of words rose up in her throat, each of them blocked by crippling guilt. She wanted to say how sorry she was, but she couldn't explain for what. So she simply shook her head and charged off toward her room, ignoring the way they called her name after her. She carefully closed and locked the door behind her and then shut herself in the closet, where she would make the least noise, and let go.

She screamed and struck out at the walls, finally giving vent to the anger that had swelled up inside her. The tears came as soon as the anger was extinguished and she sobbed heavily into her hands as her mind replayed every image of Steve being violated in front of her. She didn't know how long she sat there but it was long enough that when she finally emerged FRIDAY told her that Sam was outside asking if she was okay. _No_. Scrubbing the redness from her eyes, she opened the door enough to let him in. "Mind if I sit?" he asked gently. She responded with a listless shrug and meandered over to join him on the bed. "I'm not gonna make you tell me what happened, okay? But anything you wanna talk about you can." 

"It was all my fault." The whisper came out without her meaning it to. She clenched her hands in the bed sheets. 

"What do you mean by that?" Sam's voice was soft and encouraging. Her guilt flooded out.

"I- she- they were going to hurt me. They _should_ have hurt me, but he wouldn't let them. He told them-" She froze. 

"He told them to hurt him instead," he finished. She nodded. "Does he have any injuries we need to be worrying about?" 

"No." 

"Wanda, I need you to listen to me- it is not your fault that they hurt Steve. He made that choice to protect you." Wanda stood up abruptly.

"I need to go. I need to see him." She rushed from the room and down the hallway to the opposite wing. Natasha stood sentry across the hall from Steve's door, her expression wooden. "Is he in there?"

"Told me we'll discuss it later and shut the door in my face." She looked over and Wanda saw the hint of worry in her eyes. "Maybe you'll have better luck." Casting one last glance toward the door, she retreated down the hallway. Wanda waited until she was out of sight and knocked gently. 

"Steve? Can I come in?" Silence. She was ready to give up when the door opened just enough to let her inside. She smelled fresh soap and moisture from the shower but it was tinted with the unmistakable sour smell of vomit. Steve was dressed in the loosest clothing he owned and his hair was still damp from the shower. He kept his blank gaze nailed to the floor.

"Did you need something Wanda?" She heard the tremors skillfully hidden in his voice.

"I wanted to keep you company," she replied. "I don't think you should be alone right now." Steve swallowed heavily.

"I'm- I'll be okay, Wanda. You don't need to stay." That's what he said, but even without her magic Wanda could hear the plea underneath, the plea that he would never act on by himself because he was the leader and somehow that convinced him that he didn't need help. Didn't deserve it. But she knew better.

"I know how you are feeling." The words slipped out easier than she'd expected. "Back in Sokovia when we were living on the streets, before HYDRA found us, a boy tried to rape me. He didn't finish- he didn't even do much. Pietro caught us and beat him until he ran away, but I still couldn't stand to be alone for a long time after that. It's normal." Steve glanced her way for a fraction of a section before he shut his eyes.

"That was different." Every word seemed to hurt him. "You didn't want it." 

"You didn't either."

"But I-" He cut off, flushing, and in a heartbreaking instant Wanda realized what he was trying to say. She reached out and took his hand gently, looking into his eyes. 

"Just because your body reacted doesn't mean that you wanted it," she told him slowly. "And it doesn't mean that she didn't rape you. She made you have sex with her against your will. There is _nothing_ that makes that your fault." She could see his breathing hitch and pulled him over to sit on the couch before his knees gave out. She held onto his hand as his trembles devolved into full-body shaking and he began to cry. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, wrapping her arm around him. "I'm so sorry that she did this to you." She stayed with him, surrounding him, as he finally let himself break down with someone to help carry him through. 

It was full dark by the time he had calmed down and they were both flagging with exhaustion and hunger. Wanda could smell something cooking from the kitchen area. As if on cue, Steve's stomach growled. He gave a watery chuckle. "Well. Guess I know what I'm gonna do." Wanda smiled.

"That makes two of us. I think I could eat as much as you right now." They got to shaky feet and left the room. Steve stopped in the doorway and squeezed her hand with a small smile. She squeezed back with one of her own and they headed down the hall.

"Oh, so it takes food to get you two to make an appearance, huh?" Sam's voice was joking but his eyes roved over them carefully.

"If it was a choice between you and isolation I know which one I'd pick," Natasha rejoined. She sipped her coffee and watched them only slightly less subtly over the rim of the mug. 

"What's for dinner?" Wanda asked, giving Sam a tiny grin.

"Chicken Parmesan with ziti and garlic bread," he replied. "I stress cook." 

"Should stress you out more often." It was the first thing Steve had said to him since they landed. Sam sputtered.

"_How_ could you _possibly_ stress me out more often than you already do? Man, quit talking bullshit, sit down and eat your chicken." Dinner was quiet in a comfortable sort of way, and when Sam insisted that they sit down and play Uno in the living room afterwards Wanda could see Steve psyching himself up. He took a deep breath and met her eye. Heedless of the ongoing game, she scooted over and took his hand. Sam and Natasha shared another loaded glance and folded their hands down, waiting for them to continue on their own time. Slowly, haltingly, they got the story out and rested in the silent sympathy of their friends. After a minute of quiet, Wanda nudged Steve with her shoulder and held up her cards. He smiled faintly. 

"Well, I guess we should keep going." And they did. They would talk about it more later, when things weren't so raw. In the meantime Wanda tried to count the cards, Sam laid down a string of Plus Fours that had Natasha threatening to decapitate him with a butter knife, and Steve plodded along, following all the rules, and ended up winning. 

It wasn't good right now. Hell, it wasn't even really okay. 

But it would be eventually, and they would both get there.

Together.

**Author's Note:**

> It's my headcanon that Wanda cracks her head like a fucking melon. 
> 
> There are precisely two (2) things that trigger my inner rage demon when it comes to the topic of sexual violence: 1) the idea that victim arousal means it wasn't "really" rape, and 2) the idea- frequently tied to #1- that women can't rape men. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk if you wanna hear me scream about it more just ask me in the comments.


End file.
